I am sorry that I ride my bicycle. Your honking at me made me realize how sorry I should be. Not using a giant pickup truck or an SUV (or even a car!) for transportation is downright weird, and I really should cut it out.
I'll admit that at first I thought you might be jealous because I accelerated around the turn almost as fast as the car ahead of me. I didn't hold up traffic for one second. You could never ride a bike that fast yourself, because each one of your thighs is as thick as my entire body.
Then I came to my senses. It's obvious that my behavior is completely unacceptable because it just doesn't fit in with the rest of my fellow Americans.
I assure you that your honking was very effective in its intended purpose. I will stop riding my bicyle immediately and become a fossil-fuel-burning, TV-watching, pro-war American citizen. You can rest assured that you changed the world for the better in one thoughtful, well-timed action. Thank you!